Merry Christmas!! Happy Holidays!! Have a great time!! Enjoy Yourself 🙂

You hear these phrases all the time this time of year and they are well intentioned and often genuine.  But this puts a massive amount of pressure onto people to perform, be cheerful and put on a brave face.  And that can be tough.  We’re human, not AI and the expectations at Christmas can push us to the absolute limits.

Add in Year 11 stress and the results can get messy.  

Your 15/16 year old is going through the ringer just being a 15/16 year old, never mind mocks, exam prep, revision timetables and now Christmas. There’s more and more limited opportunities for them to self regulate in school, winter can put pay to fresh air and exercise and then along come extra family, enforced together time and family commitments.  

When I spoke about this at the centre, I felt as if the teenagers were hanging on my every word (which is an unusual and frankly unsettling experience) as I suggested that they need to find time to be alone and just be (and do nothing for a few minutes, but more of that another time…). Self regulation is being taken more and more out of young people’s hands, but it is essential for them to do this. To be able to control their emotions, know when to withdraw and get into a calm state is vital for their brain to function. 

I don’t know about you, but if I don’t get those ‘down’ times, my brain goes into overdrive and anxiety can spiral.  For me, everything then gets internalised into a whirr of thoughts and feelings usually resulting in a migraine.  For others, meltdowns ensue, shouting and physical outbursts.  And everything else in between. When I get like that, it takes either some time away from the situation and often a safe person to ‘talk me down’. 

This Christmas, keep attune with your young adult. In all the hustle and bustle, have they still got you as their safe person? Are their downtimes built into your Christmas schedule? This Christmas, please be mindful of the need to self regulate. And be kind to yourself. I think we can all benefit from a little bit of that!

SUE

Owner of Red Bird Tutoring