I read some disturbing articles recently as part of Mental Health Awareness month. Both concerned boys that had ended their lives because of the weight of expectation on their shoulders regarding their University choices. Both had felt that they couldn’t live up to the expectations, one felt that he was not capable of carrying the burden and the other that he just didn’t want to go, but felt that he had no choice.
It’s a tricky balance isn’t it? Attaining potential versus pushing too hard. We have had 16 year old boys cry because the weight of expectation was too high on them, whether that was real or perceived, it was felt and was crushing. They were terrified that they were going to fail and disappoint everybody. Our students also know that their parents have invested in them and sometimes feel that they must work even harder to ‘pay them back’.
So what is the answer? Usually real and honest conversations. A genuine talk about how proud you are of them whatever happens. A chat about what real and rounded success is – not just a bunch of grades and a good degree. A discussion about what their heart is telling them to do and being ok with that.
Sometimes, our children think they ‘should’ be doing something because they are bombarded with it from all directions. We all fall into the ‘should’ trap instead of the ‘could’ option at some point, but to an impressionable young adult, the message can get super loud if it’s not counteracted.
Getting part of something bigger than themselves could also be the answer to get things into perspective. Clubs, uniformed organisations or voluntary work can all keep your child grounded and help them to see that there is so much to life aside from studies.
If you are worried about your child’s mental health, here is last month’s blog exploring the various stages of support that could help. If you want some summer holiday ideas for the longest summer ever, try this blog or if you need some examples of what success can look like aside from Education, try this blog about The Olympics.
We want to always be there for your students and their families. If you need us, please reach out to your tutor or to me. If we don’t know how to help, we certainly know someone who can.
SUE
Owner of Red Bird Tutoring
Sue launched Red Bird Tutoring in 2018, combining her 20+ years experience as a teacher and school leader with her interest in coaching.
Since its launch, Red Bird has helped hundreds of learners achieve success!